Monday Musings

I’ve always envied people who know their purpose in life. Writers who say they have to write, as if it’s a compulsion. Men and women who have the calling from God and know they are going into the church in some capacity. Actors, dancers, and musicians who were just born to perform and have been doing it since before they could walk.

I’ve never had that certainty. As such, I seem to drift along, trying new things, liking what I do one moment and in the next being unable to stomach it for one more second.

Ironically, I am always certain when I’m ready to move on. Whether it’s because I’m bored or because i’m no longer learning or being challenged or I’m just over it, once I reach that point, the desire to run away as fast as I can becomes overwhelming.

I’m at that point now. But, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of not feeling grounded, tired of feeling lost and unsettled.

And frustrated.

I think I know what I want to do. I had a conversation with my aunt who told me to ask God about my heart’s desire, and this path popped into my head. It’s an idea I had years ago and set aside. For a brief moment I was excited, but I still fear that one day I’ll get bored. And this is not the type of thing you walk just away from.

Now I’m stuck, unable to move forward and it’s the worst feeling.


2 thoughts on “Monday Musings

  1. Rique Alonso says:

    A relationship ending does not portend the fate of those that follow.

    Whether it’s love, friendship, a job… any kind of relationship, we must dare the adventure. We must step into that journey bereft of expectations; clothed only in hope, ambition, and anticipation of the wondrous discoveries that lay hidden, waiting for us just beyond the horizon .

    Not every path chosen takes you where you want to go, but it does lead you closer. Remember, life is not linear. The highs are worth the lows….

    Your friend,

    Liked by 1 person

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