There was a time when you’d never catch me leaving the house in anything even remotely resembling flats. Not even athletic shoes – I did the Spice Girl sneakers long before they were known as wedge sneakers. I strutted around the University of Miami in sky highs. If life had a uniform, mine would’ve been jeans, heels, and cute shirts. And sunglasses. Always gotta have a pair of hater blockers.

I love high heels.

*sniffle* I hope you went to a good home.

I love how awesome my legs look in high heels. I love not feeling frumpy in high heels. Heels make me feel sexy and confident. Cuz I don’t, usually.

I can and do go without makeup. Jewelry I can take or leave. Dresses and skirts are not my friends. I will throw my hair up in a bun with no hesitation.

967137_10151520538399961_551347101_oBut, dammit I want my heels back!!

A person takes one fall down a few stairs and forever screws up the ligaments in her ankle, and doctors want to be all, “no more heels!” Yes, I was wearing wedges at the time, but hell! I trip over my feet when I’m in flips. It’s not the heels’ fault. It was raining too, so there’s that. Honestly, that ankle doesn’t even bother me. It’s the other one that I injured that time I tripped over my own foot when getting out of bed. I had to go to physical therapy for that one. It was not fun.

I’m the oddball that’s klutzy when NOT in heels.

I still have these actually. Shh…

Not that walking in 4-inch stilettos on the regular is feasible or advisable in New York City, but I’m willing to try. I just want the chance. Without the pain that now comes along with wearing anything over 2 inches. I mean, what the hell is 2 inches supposed to do?!

I packed up all my pretty sexy shoes and gave them away like the good medical professionals suggested. And I tried to be good. Really I did. I even have proof. See!

I couldn't tell you where these shoes are now to save my life.
I couldn’t tell you where these shoes are now to save my life.

I wear wedges now, though I know I shouldn’t. A girl needs something. I have to be me. And Me wear heels. Me needs those few extra inches off the ground because Me is short. I’m talking 5’2-on-a-good-day-short. 5’1 is probably more accurate, but I was wearing low heels when I took the drivers license picture.

3 out 5 pairs of shoes were hardly, if ever worn.

I’m starting to sound like I have a short-person complex. And a slight obsession with height. I can accept both, just give me back my heels!