9780804138086I chose this book sort of as a joke, and I really loved the cover image. But, if I want to learn the ins and outs of the BDSM lifestyle, I want to learn it from someone who has had more than a couple months experience. I respect Jaiya for what she does as a sexologist, but not as a kink expert. Maybe this book should’ve been a memoir or collection of essays about her experience. Certainly not a how-to book.

I suppose if you’ve never in your life heard of BDSM, you’d find this book informative. For me, it read like a wikipedia entry or a “Kink for Dummies.” I find it hard to take the advice of someone who starts off the book praising Fifty Shades of Grey for being revolutionary. Seriously?

I got tired of reading–for 4 plus chapters–about what was to come in this book. Better structuring could’ve cut down on repetition. Why not include those diagrams and instructions right then and there? The meat of the book, what people really would want to read this for, came very late. The average reader will probably lose interest before they get to the good stuff.

Speaking of repetition… Stating something and then saying it again in the form of a question is still repeating yourself. And there were far too many instances of this:


Once I finally got to the diagrams and such, I really enjoyed this read more. Would a beginner really be ready for something like the French Maid Genital Harness, though?

Visually, this is a beautiful book. The physical version at least. The ebook is lacking. And maybe it was just my copy, but what a wasted opportunity to not have working links, though they only linked to the author’s website. I personally cared more for the ones listed in Resources.

Overall recommendation, read a Tiffany Reisz book instead. Far more entertaining and just as, if not more educational.

2.5 stars

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.